Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Lots to cover

Geez…there is so much to update on that I don’t even know where to begin. It has been an eventful couple of weeks for us! Sophie has had a really rough time with what I think is her tummy. When I saw rough I mean ROUGH! She was screaming, not eating or sleeping, etc. I counted that from Sunday night through Thursday night of last week I got a total of ten hours of sleep. Ten hours TOTAL! Thankfully Joe saw that I was on the verge of becoming insane and took on a shift at night! We are currently taking stool samples to see if they can find anything. Oh what motherhood requires :)! After going over every possibility I think I may have it figured out; her cereal. Now as to why it is causing such problems. That is where I’m hoping her doctor will help me! She seems to be doing better since I have stopped giving her cereal. Hopefully when we start solids she’ll adjust well to it!
The rest of this blog is going to be pretty transparent. I guess I just need to get some things of my chest and this is a very therapeutic way to do so. I have always heard that when it rains it pours. Well, that has been the case with Joe and me lately. It was been one thing after another and it feels as if we are just hanging on by a thread. I know that it is in these times that God seems to be teaching us. I definitely see where that is the case here. We have faced some difficult and discouraging things which in the end have been a challenge to us both. It has been certain Christian’s actions that have, to put honestly, shocked the heck out of us! We have been exposed to such legalistic, hardened, and disillusioned attitudes. It has been one of the most frustrating times in my life. Mainly because I HATE, HATE, HATE dishonesty. Any form of it! I don’t care how high you raise your hands, that you’re there every time the church doors are open, or how many hours you pray…it is what you do behind closed doors that matter! (Even though I do think the last two are important) It is how you treat your family, wife, kids, etc when people aren’t looking. THAT is what God looks at…NOT the act you put on for the public. Yet these people judge/condemn others and make such drastic statements about other’s spiritual lives. My momma always said that they people that condemn the most usually have the most to hide. I guess Momma is always right :). It does sadden me to see people living this way because I don’t know if they are truly experiencing God’s grace. I know when I was living without giving EVERYTHING to God, where it was more about the “show”, that I was miserable because God couldn’t heal and restore things that I didn’t open up to Him. For those of you that were close to me in college you know that I faced a similar situation then as well. So when I was faced with the same attitudes again I started thinking that maybe God was trying to teach ME something. And he was :0). I realized just how judgmental I could be as well, how I wasn’t extending grace to people enough, and how I answer to God and God alone…I can’t be worried what others may say. As a people pleaser the last one is my biggest obstacle to overcome, but God is helping me. There were times that I wouldn’t stand up for what was right/truth because I was too afraid of what people might think. So God is putting me in situations where I have to stand for truth even when people make me out to be the bad guy. I do believe that there is also grace in standing for truth. I haven’t always been good at this. It seems as if lately I went from never speaking my mind to never being able NOT to speak my mind. This isn’t good either. God is teaching me to keep my mouth shut because He can say things better than I can and to let my actions speak truth by loving and respecting people. However, there are times that you stand up as well. As you can see God is still working :0). Ultimately, I can’t judge. Only God can do that. Now does that mean to turn a blind eye, no!
There is a family that I know God has placed in mine and Joe’s life! I really want to name them because I think they deserve the recognition, but won’t because I don’t want to embarrass them. They have shown us TRUE Christianity! They have shown such grace, unconditional love, and support to those around them. I truly believe that God placed them in my life to show me how to give His love to people! One time when it had become almost unbearable for Joe and I was when Sophie was NOT sleeping AT ALL, my tire had blown – and being the genius that I am I drove on it which shredded it – and while Joe was changing my tire the car fell in his arm. I called them to come watch Sophie while I took him to the ER. Side story…there was nothing wrong with Joe’s arm except it took at chunk of skin out. Tell me that’s not a miracle!! Back to the story…Joe and I were COMPLETELY overwhelmed! We were thinking of all that we had to do, etc. Well, we went and picked up Sophie after getting out of the ER and came back to our house. As we pulled up in the drive way we noticed that our tire was fixed. The man – this man runs his own business and is VERY, VERY busy - had come and checked out the tire that we needed, gone to the store and bought us a new tire, then came back and changed it. I can’t even begin to tell you the relief that flooded over Joe and I when we saw this! I’ll be honest I started crying and even though Joe won’t admit it I think there were tears in his eyes too :0)! Their kindness made us feel like we could make it. Then we walk in the house and noticed that they has straightened up. All of this to say that I think this is what God calls us to do. This is what I think Christianity is!

3 comments:

Lisa Michelle Turner said...

I hate trying times, but we both know they do us well in the long run. I'm so happy you have those people in your life to block out the negativity & deceitfulness of others. When you're about to explode think about their humbleness, eagerness to help & true love for Christ. Don't forget I'm only a phone call away when you need to vent! ;)

Sarah Holland said...

I'm proud of you, love. I wish I were more like you!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I had tears in MY eyes after reading this! What a beautiful post, my friend. My favorite line is, "I do believe that there is also grace in standing for truth."

You lay it all out very well - the "balance" we have to have between learning when to speak and when not to, the tendency to be judgmental. I'M learning these lessons, too!!

Proud of you xxx