I'm sure this post is going to cause some people to freak out a bit. I'm just going to be honest though because if we are all honest with ourselves then more than likely you know what I'm talking about. A big fear of mine is to slip into the "mommy attire". Ya know what I'm talking about...where you start wearing tshirts, ratty pants, and clothes from departments that I won't mention in case any one reading this shops there :). Being a mom I can see how most women don't choose to look like a "mom", but somehow through years of sacrificing for the family their own needs/desires are pushed to the back burner. This is where my fear comes in. What if one day I wake up and I AM shopping at those department stores? It's already starting...my closet is A LOT less dressy than it use to be. It has to be though. What I use to wear wouldn't be functional as a mom and who wants to run errands/getting a baby in and out of the car with 4in heels on - I have done that the last two Sundays and it IS NOT fun! I learned all too well on Sophie's dedication when she was two weeks old that some things I wore before were just going to have to go. I had a gorgeous, Banana Republic, fuchsia SILK dress on for her dedication. Well, after leaking through it - sorry if there are any guys are reading this - and Sophie drooling and spitting up I realized that maybe a silk dress isn't functional for me any more. So to the back of the closet it went - after being dry cleaned. I'm sure all of us young girls think that it can never happen to us, but I'm sure that those moms thought the same thing. My attire now consists of jeans, tshirts, and comfy dresses. Of course I try to accessories with jewelry - if I can afford it, ha -but how long will that last? Will I eventually start slipping. I know this is a extremely trivial matter, but I really am concerned. I wondered if I'm going to wake up one morning in and realize I'm totally in the "mommy attire". This is why I make an effort every day to put make up on and get dressed. Even if all I am doing is cleaning. I really hope this doesn't make me sound shallow! It's honestly something that I'm struggling with right now. I think it's because I went through my closet last night for goodwill and realized that I was banking my decisions for rather I kept the clothes or not on 1) how comfy was it 2)was it functional and the BIG 3) did it even fit anymore?!?!?! which leads me to my next point...
WEIGHT, ugh! I was planning on writing about this after I picked up my old size 2 jeans and just about had an emotional break down, and was surprised that my sister had just written about it sometime during the night. My sister and I are so much a like that it's creepy sometimes. You hear about the siblings that have a freakish connection...well, that's us. We once bought the EXACT same eye glasses while she was in London and I was in Cleveland. Anywho...back to our issue of weight. I was very sick of hearing, "once you have a baby your body is never the same." Well, I am now part of the herd. Although I try to refrain from saying that to women who don't have kids or are pregnant. Let them enjoy their innocence I say :) - they'll more than likely have to deal with it sooner or later! At my 6 week check up I was feeling pretty good when the scale said that I was only 3-4 lbs heavier than my SPW - "starting pregnancy weight". Then it all came crashing down or more correctly shooting up like rockets! I'm not even sure what happened. I like to blame it on the pure exhaustion that drove me to eat...and eat....and eat. Basically I ate myself all the way to 10 lbs heavier than my SPW. So now I am on weight watchers trying get it off. But I wonder will it even bring me back to "my normal"? I hear, no. It's like everything seems that it's back it place after having Sophie, but it's not. Ok, this is slightly embarrassing, but too funny not to post :). I was getting ready today and I had Sophie sitting next to me playing with her own make up - not that she wears it she just plays with it while I put mine on. Well, next thing I know I have a sweet little hand grabbing that little roll that has now found it's way over my pants. Thanks, sweetie, for pointing that out. I had to refrain from mentioning to her how I carried her for 9 whole months, had leg cramps, back aches, and now had a little reminder to go with it, ha! So now I am doing yoga at home - because who can afford the Y these days :) - and staying dedicated to weight watchers. And can I just say that I am SO noticing a difference in my joints. I mean I'm only 25...what in the world?! Am I seriously already feeling the effects of aging? No joke I was sitting on the floor working on something and when I got up I could barely stand up. Good grief is all I have to say! I know the mom's that have had multiple children are probably laughing their heads off at me right now, but that's ok...let me live with the comfort that it won't get worse...I'll deal with the reality when it's time :).
5 comments:
Oh Sara, Sara, Sara.... this post was too funny! Your line "Let them enjoy their innocence I say :)" seriously made me laugh out loud!
As you already know from our daily phone convos, I totally feel you, although I had already discovered the impracticality of certain clothing when I was in London and realized, e.g., that stilettos don't work when you have to walk miles to the nearest Tube station. So, I ditched my daily heel wearing then...
Clothing is NOT extremely trivial. It affects how we feel about our selves and how others feel about us. That's not necessarily bad. It's a means of communication. It makes sense that it hurts when we feel that our clothes are not communicating well. I mean, I'm a hip, thin woman making my way, with plans and ambition... oh wait, no, I'm a mom wearing flip-flops with a cotton slip dress in desperate need of a renewed commitment to eyeliner. I won't even get started on what preggo hormones did to my hair. I'm trying to make my peace with the dissonance between the two. I think that as we are aware that we want our clothes to reflect the true US, we'll get to a place that's comfortable. Maybe not silk and heels every day, but a place where we're happy with how we're communicating about our selves.
Amen and may it be so!!!!!
Sara, I LOVED this post!!! I am not even a mom, but your words were so true to what everyone else says. You just put it on your blog, which most people would be too afraid to do, and it made me laugh so hard! Thanks, though, because I have a lot of body fears after becoming a mom so it's nice to hear you echo those sentiments...
And I also want to just say that you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself! You are one of the classiest girls I have ever known. Very Grace Kelly. :) I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to have to worry more about Sophie thinking that you look "too good" and not enough like a mom rather than vice versa!
Sara your post was very relative. I understand the mom clothing dilemma. I have a love-hate relationship with elastic waistband clothing. I also get dressed and put make up on every day, it does make your day go better.
Also I understand how your body changes. If it makes you feel better, my husband tells me he likes my shape better now after having kids. Of course the other day I did ask him something and he said he really couldn't remember what I looked like before we started having kids. Ha! Thank goodness for his bad memory.
Rachel, it makes me feel a lot better knowing that you understand because you look AMAZING for having any kids let alone 4!! You're the inspiration for us 'new' moms for sure! I would like to have 3-4 kids as well and pray that I look half as cute and fashionable as you when I do!!
I SO feel you on this. I have been +10 lbs. of my pre-pregnancy weight since I had Judah. It just won't budge. It's so frustrating considering I've never really had a weight problem. I think I've FINALLY come to grips with the fact that THIS is how my body is going to look and I've got to just DEAL! Justin says he doesn't care, but it's still disheartening when I can't put on my favorite jeans. *sigh* oh well. I think you look GREAT and as beautiful as ever!
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