I have to do what?!

It has really started to sink in that this baby has to come out, and the time for this to happen is approaching rather quickly!! This weekend Joe and I went to a friend’s wedding and our table at the reception was literally ALL pregnant women and their husbands. Two of these women already had one child, so they had been through the whole birthing thing. Julie Johnson – who is the CUTEST pregnant woman – and I are pregnant with our first. The two pros started telling about their labor experiences with their first child. This is when it hit me like a ton of bricks that this baby in me was going to go out…no matter what, and most likely would be on her on timing, not mine. Oh dear!! I am beginning to get very nervous! From what I hear about labor there is no way to know how it will go. You can plan and plan, but it will probably go the opposite way of what you planned. Have I mentioned that I’m a planner? That I like to know exactly how things are going to go?! Yeah, apparently this is the worst type of personality to have when it comes to labor…Perfect! I think the fact that there is no way for me to know precisely what is going to happen is what freaks me out the most. I don’t know how long I’ll be in labor, where I’ll be when it begins, will she be sunny side up, will I need an emergency c-section, etc. etc. etc. There are so many unknowns! It’s a bit overwhelming to think about. A friend told me that somehow your body just takes over and your entire focus is on that baby and what you have to do to help it out. This brings me some comfort; knowing that God has given us the innate instinct to have babies! From talking to friends and my doctor the best thing to do is be prepared for anything to happen. As soon as I find out how to do that I’ll be set.

I went to the doctor yesterday and Sophie is healthy as a horse (and kicking like one too!!). Her heart beat is strong and she measures right on target! Can I just tell you the complete dread I feel to step on that scale at the doctor’s office!! It’s torture, absolute torture! I only gained 3 pounds though (in the last 4 weeks, not the whole pregnancy)…YAY! It’s still very difficult to see the number that I saw on the scale. Never in my life have I ever seen those numbers when I stepped on a scale. Even though the doctor says I’m doing good with my weight it is challenging to see the changes going on with my body. I have to keep reminding myself that I am pregnant, and that these things are going to happen. The hormones don’t help though! I’ve cried more in the last month than I had in a year pre-pregnancy!